The Woman in the Mirror

Today was day 2 for me (day 3 for others) of the Comprehensive Assessment. Surprisingly, two standardized patients, two quizzes, a simulator, a simulator quiz, and a feedback session are exhausting. I still have hours to go - two take-home assignments, four peer assessments, and pre-research for tomorrow's case on prostate cancer. Oh, and there's that whole pretending-to-study for the Boards thing.

I like being busy, truly. It's nice to have expectations to live up to, and as harsh a critic as I am, my own self-assessment is not so scary. I'm good with standardized patients; I think they like me. I attend to comfort, privacy, and make jokes at my own expense. What is comedic is what I forget. For a whole year, I forgot to ask about smoking, alcohol, drugs, and whether you have "sex with men, women, or both." Now I never forget, but the topic of STDs is nowhere to be found. I forgot to coach a potentially pregnant 17-year old in the fine art of using condoms for STD protection, and not simply for ensuring that she geso to college next year by herself. (Yes, the test was negative.) How could I forget the Gardasil vaccine?! And I must remember to ask about drug allergies!

Being a doctor is so different than expected. There's the whole getting up at 6 AM to iron thing because, yes, you are graded on your clothes. And then there's the "lipstick or no lipstick" dilemma. Can I get away with open-toed shoes? Do I need a breath mint? To be a good doctor, a truly good one, it seems you must constantly meta-analyze. Why is the patient's leg bouncing? What about this makes them nervous? Are my hands cold? Did I just blow my chance to ask a sensitive question? Remember to look up how to treat rotator cuff injuries when you get home...

I'm not sure all doctors are like this, but they should be. You learn more from surviving your mistakes than from not making any.