Complications

Today was a hard day to be running on 4 hours of sleep. It's been a hard week for the team in general. Both Tuesday and Wednesday night saw late emergency surgeries - Tuesday til 1 AM and Wednesday until 10:30 PM, neither of which I scrubbed on because I had a presentation to prepare for today - we got publicly antagonized by one of the "old school" senior Attendings, and two of my patients went back to the OR today for wound infections. None of us have slept much and we're all a little ragged. Funny, though, how in less than two weeks the six of us are very much a "team."

I've been racking my brain all night for missteps I might have made that contributed to my patients needing to go to the OR again. Did I not scrub well enough? Did I forget to use the alcohol gel? Should I clean my stethoscope more? And of course none of this has to do with me, but your patients are hurting and I'm needing to adjust this new-found weight of responsibility. I made sure to see both before I left tonight, and I'll be seeing them very soon. It just kind of hurts.

On a brighter note, I am obsessed with one of my classmates. She has the world's most awesome shoes - turquoise D'orsay-style wedges with a black suit skirt and white button down! - and I am totally in love with this weekly calendar she carries around. It's a Quo Vadis cover with an Exacompta insert. You can replace the inserts, it has these neat little tear-off corners to indicate when weeks are finished, and you can stuff papers and things in the pockets where the insert is held. Oh, and I just love the pebbled leather look. While money is still tight, when I finish this clerkship I think I'll reward myself with the spring green one from here. Maybe then I'll get some wedding planning done.