Canadaigua

I'm on the 36th hour of a 24 hour day studying and I'm starting to slip. There is so much to know that you hit a self-preservation crossroads. On the one hand, you want to learn everything because you owe it to your patients. (It is unreal how well my physical exam instructor - a primary care physician - knows her anatomy. I always assumed primary care was hypertension, diabetes, cancer diagnosis, antibiotics, etc...) On the other hand, all you need to do is pass. Just passing makes a lot of sense. In wanting a life outside of school, in fearing burn-out, I belong to the new generation of physicians who don't believe that medicine is purely sacrifice. It will be interesting to see how my cohort navigates our careers with that ideal in mind. It may very well be that the pendulum swings back to the selfless physician ten years down the road. In wanting a life outside of the clinic, physicians will acede their social privilige. Are we ready for that?

I went on a meander this afternoon with two other students. What a glorious ride - in the bright fall sunshine down backroads to Canadaigua. The houses were these old, beautiful Victorians interspersed among horse and dairy farms, with the flattest, greenest lawns. Like mini-golf courses. I yearned and yearned to live in them.